It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
