you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My balls are so social today.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
