I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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