Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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