Kareoke will never be a sober sport
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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