We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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