I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
