My nipple is on Facebook.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
