yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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