Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize