just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
