I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
