The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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