and you said cock pushups were impossible
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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