just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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