I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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