i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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