dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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