Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
