My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
