I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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