Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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