so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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