I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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