Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
well you can't waste a boner
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
