O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
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i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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