sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
