clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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