The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
