I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
