I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
