go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
