if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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