Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
