I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
