and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
