he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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