Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
