you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
