just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
