So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize