I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
