this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she smelled like a LAN party
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
