Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
