I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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