Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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