drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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