i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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