"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
