I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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