ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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