Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
