I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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