If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we're so committed to being not committed
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
