How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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