Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my being single is dangerous.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize