I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
