When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
