I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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