It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
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hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
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It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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