I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
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He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.