I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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