and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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