Please, let me fuck your mom
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
