were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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