I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
