You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
