so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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